Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Don't You Worry Child

Long blouse - Mine Yours Everyone's, Tanktop - Levi's, Short - m)phosis, Belt - Gucci, Rings - Royal Toxic, Bag - Miss Selfridge, Shoes - June+Julia

This is the outfit that I wore to Plaza Senayan. And I looked so freaking ugly since I wasn't wearing any makeup at that time. I know you rarely see me dress up like this cause usually I wear sweet lovely outfit style. But this is like the other side of me. Truthfully, I'm not even a feminine person so this outfit suits me the best since I'm kinda quirky. I really love this long blouse from MYE I bought this at Manekineko, Epicentrum. I look like some weirdo or some kind of vampire hunters don't ya think? lol.
Anyway, life has been terrible to me. It keeps knocking me down, I swear. More problems, bigger problems. Unsolved problems that gives me stress. Life is short. Life is unexpected. Life sucks. That's my definition of life. for now.
I've been thinking about my life for quite some time. Well, every night actually. Growing up with the maids environment, parents came home late has makes me realize how lonely I was back then. Moreover, I was abused by my maid for years when I was little. I kept thinking how stupid I was back then, why didn't I tell my parents. why didn't I fight back. oh God. To be honest, the scars are still there. Memories that I can't forget. I still remember I was fat back then since my maid always forced me to eat. One day, I was so full that I puked. You know what she did to me? She grabbed the puke and put it on my face as if it was a face cream. DAMN. IF SHE DOES THAT TO ME NOW I'D KILL HER PUNCH HER KICK HER IN THE ASS. After that, she dragged me to the bathroom and splashed me with cold water. She hit me with the water dipper, and all I did was..cry. stupid Cathy. I know. Anyway, it's the past. Now I have bigger problems that is...college/university. My parents keep pushing me asking which college you want to go to. I want to go to Raffles Design Institute in Singapore as I've mentioned in my past post. I really want to go there. But my parents didn't let me. I'm old and big enough to study overseas don't you think? I know how protective my parents are. BUT SERIOUSLY. It's only like 1hour away from Indonesia. You can fly to Singapore anytime. I've been crying, begging, you name it. Do you know how long has it been? Since April until now, I'm still thinking about my college/uni life. To be honest, I've no interest at all studying in Indonesia. I'm bored with the same environment and yada yada. But since my parents force me, I have to make decision. I've come with two options actually. Lasalle or Binus Inter. Which one? Ooops, I forgot to mention I still don't know the major I will take. I'm so confused. I'm interested in Graphic Design but I also love fashion to the point that I might choose Fashion business. But seriously, what am I doing with my life? There are people younger than me who already have their careers set up for them, and here I am having no idea what I want to be. If only my parents let me go to RDI in Singapore...*sigh
Enough of my college whining. Now I'm gonna whine about my relationships lol. I've been hurt by so many people. being stabbed by so many friends. to the point that I don't trust anyone anymore. I still wonder what did I do that make them treat me like this. Moreover, the one and only best friend I had betrayed me too! Even my boyfriend(ex now). I'm so lonely since my close friends have left me. Almost everyone that I knew went to study overseas. I never know what my boyfriend thinks of me or what he talked about with his friends about me. He is so busy with his studies and works that he has no time for me. Further more, on our anniversary he decided to go to his friend's house instead of spending time with me. urghh. I'm so disappointed. But, he is a good guy. I really do like him :). Well, it's over now. I'm back with my single and foreveralone life. enoughsaid. Yes, I'm a crybaby. I love to cry whenever I think about my life. My future is still unknown and now I'm living like a zombie. It's like I'm still alive but have no souls. empty.

Anyway, here's a video of my singapore haul! If you have a youtube account please do subscribe :D

Oh, forgot to tell you guys. I have something to be happy about these days. I applied for Indonesia Fashion Week's bloggers and got accepted! YEAY! I was so happy that my entire body feels like burning. I can proudly say, I'm one of the official bloggers for Indonesia Fashion Week 2013! This news really made my day. And I'm not joking.
Anyone going to IFW13? Contact me! Let's meet-up ;)
Shoot me an email: cathyw.sie@gmail.com

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